Ancient jokes
Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.
Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.
Your hairline goes back to when Adam and Eve were born.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.