Ancient jokes
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"
Yo momma so old, she was at Cain and Abel's baby shower.
Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
Yo mama is so old that she was born on the first day the universe existed.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t have a home to run to.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
Your hairline goes so far back, we learned about it in history class.
Your hairline is so far back it was back on before Jesus Christ was born.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.