What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?
Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣
Elsa got a boyfriend, and the boyfriend wanted to try anal.
She wasn't too keen, but she just lay back and shouted "INTO THE UNKNOWN!"
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.
One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.
So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
Why don't gay greek men have anal sex with each other in greece? because anal sex between gay men is against the law in greece
Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?
Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
anal haha
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
Anal sex is for A......s
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex?
An and Or!
I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
