American jokes
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
Why are Americans so bad at class royals?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Why was the American kid late to school?
Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.
A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"
To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
Why can't Americans play chess...
Because they lost 2 towers.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost 2 towers.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost two towers!
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
Like this if you're an American.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?
They both have a history of separating colors.
(Not an orphan joke).
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they've lost 2 towers.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.