America jokes
Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔
Joe Biden
What do you call a racist community? America.
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!
Well, being an American is just a joke itself.
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
Why are Americans so dumb?
Because they shoot the ones that go to school.
"North America, best America."
Why do Americans suck at chess?.......... They already lost two towers.
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
What's America's no. 1 class?
Target practice.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
School's being safe.
Cheese.
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?