Emos,
They're always a cut above the rest.
Always Jokes
Why did the rapper always carry a flashlight?
To SHINE A LIGHT on his talent!
BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.
Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?
Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was always COOKING UP RHYMES!
Why was the rapper always good at math?
Because he had a lot of FLOW CHARTS.
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could always count his bars.
Why did the rapper always carry a camera?
Because he wanted to "capture" the rap star!
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the beat.
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
So he could navigate his way through the rap game.
Why was the rapper always in a rush?
Because he was on the FAST TRACK to RAP STARDOM!
Why don't rappers ever make good chefs?
Because they always drop the beet!
Why was the rapper always calm?
Because he had FLOW-ZEN.
I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.
Why was the rapper always cold?
Because he kept spitting ice!
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.
The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.
The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"
Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.
A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.
"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.
"My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.
"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."
Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:
"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"
