Already Jokes

*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

What came first? The chicken or the egg?

Which came first? The colour orange or the fruit?

Who taught the first ever teacher?

If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'seperate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, its a cop"?

Is it possible to cry underwater?

If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

Guy : are you depression cause you're crippling me Car driver : no I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you Guy : don't worry I was already crippled because I got crippling depression

why did the goat have an abortion? because she already had too many kids!

I was playing basket ball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.

I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers yours are already broken.

a kid was asking a mother for money

mother: sorry I don't have money

the kid kept asking the mother for money

mother: I already told you I don't have money

the kid(the middle child): I'm your fucking child

thats not my name but okay thats cool my name is coco but okay and i already knew jayden was a boy who is bi

What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

Your mama is so ugly she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.

ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door she was already at the back door

i always say no to drugs but considering that im talking to them rn i probably already said yes

What did the helicopter say to the mountain? Kobe!!!

Just send me to hell already

Ok,ok who is trying to be my "long lost brother" because last time i checked I didn't have any sisters or brothers so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up a lot of other people already know u are fake so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed

little johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over, as she dose she is met by the principal. they go into his office and the principal say "your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." the mother responds "he is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? bring him in here." a boy walks in and johnnys mother says "this isnt my son, bring him in here i would like a word with him." the principal replies "ma'am, this is clouds." the mother feints

me when i realized that buildings don't make earth any heavier cuz all the materials were already used on it.

And they ask you how you are, and you just
have to say you're fine when you're not
really fine
ifunny.co

you heard him, quit being a pussy

"Quit being a pussy and confess to your crush already"

Me when I know its my last day of being a cow and I already hate my life

A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"

Demon: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it."

Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"

Guy: "Golly"

Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."

Guy: "Wow."

Demon: "You like to do drugs?"

Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."

Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"

Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"

Demon: "You gay?"

Guy: "Uh, no."

Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."