Already jokes

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.

But apparently there is something in your heart, so I already have scissors in my heart.

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Yo mama so ugly when she played Five Nights at Freddy's, they thought that she was already in an animatronic costume.

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

Why are you guys making fun of priests?

Because you have a suga daddy already.

Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.

I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...

Because you already look ugly.

The sun is already bright, stupid!

What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!

Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

Don't hate life, love it because when you want to live and try again in life, it's already too late. :(

This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?

Why is black mystery not an Airheads flavor? Because we already know what happened to them. *shot fires*

Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!

Why can't Helen Keller drive?

'Cause she's already dead.

Why can’t the turd fart? Because it already shitted!