Already

Already jokes

Chicken

  • *WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....

    What came first? The chicken or the egg?

    Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?

    Who taught the first ever teacher?

    If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?

    If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?

    In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?

    Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?

    How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?

    The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?

    Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?

    Is it possible to cry underwater?

    If two left handers have an argument, who is right?

    I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O

    Difference

  • What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!

    Little Johnny

  • Little Johnny was staying at his grandparents' house, and he asked his grandpa, "Can I have a cigarette?" His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "No." "Then that's your answer." A little bit later, Little Johnny asked for a beer. His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "I already said no." "Well, that's your answer." Later, he was complaining to his grandma, and she gave him cookies. His grandpa came up to him and said, "Can I have a cookie?" Little Johnny said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" His grandpa said, "Well, yes, it can." And Little Johnny said, "Well, go fuck yourself, old man, because these are my cookies."

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  • Bff

  • My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"

    I said: "Why?"

    My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"

    I said: "KNEW IT!"

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  • Girlfriend

  • I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...

    Because you already look ugly.

    Planet

  • Which planet would I consider dating?

    I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.

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  • Suicide

  • My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

    I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

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  • Monkey

  • A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.

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  • Airplane

  • At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!

    Doctor

  • A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

    The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."

    The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

    The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"

    The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

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  • Drama

  • I'm gonna finally put a stop to the fucking drama. I saw people bullying other people for years; Gwen was not the only one. No longer will I put up with this. No longer will newcomers. For God's sake, just do jokes! Please! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other, but we're still going through this same fucking shit every fucking day! Just make jokes, people! That is why it’s called “Worst Jokes ever” not “Bully people forever.” So shut the hell up and get to joking! Jesus! The only reason why I came here was to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don’t even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fucking world!!!

    “Addison, fuck off already, you're only 10 years old. What do you know?” I might be 10, but during my time here, the tragedies and horror I've experienced on this website have shaped me into someone more mature, able to share this wisdom. And if you're gonna laugh at me, spit in the face of me and my generous teachings, you will fall. I swear to God, I will make you wish you could never feel pain. But that would hurt me more than you. Please, stop the drama. That's all I ask. Together, we can make this website great again, like it once was.

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