Allegation jokes

Lego

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

Money

What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?

Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.

Bed

How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.

Word

What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."

Michael Jackson

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.

Rape

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

Michael Jackson

There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

Song

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

Toy

What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?

Wet 6-year-old balls.

Bed

So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.

Priest

Man: I must confess, Father.

Priest: What are you here to confess?

Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.

Priest: And what happened to your son?

Man: He said a man raped him.

Priest: When and where did this happen?

Man: A local church. I don't know which one.

Priest: ...By whom?

Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.

Priest: ...Shit

President

Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.

I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!

Date

Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.

Kid

"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."

- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)