Allegation jokes

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.

Nobody:

Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?

Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.

Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.

How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.

I was accused of rape, but I swear she was a whore.

What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.

Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

What's Michael Jackson's favorite toy?

Wet 6-year-old balls.

So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.

Man: I must confess, Father.

Priest: What are you here to confess?

Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.

Priest: And what happened to your son?

Man: He said a man raped him.

Priest: When and where did this happen?

Man: A local church. I don't know which one.

Priest: ...By whom?

Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.

Priest: ...Shit

Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.

I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!

What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?

They both are plastic and like kids.