New Allegation Jokes

When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?

Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.

Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!

Man: I must confess, Father.

Priest: What are you here to confess?

Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.

Priest: And what happened to your son?

Man: He said a man raped him.

Priest: When and where did this happen?

Man: A local church. I don't know which one.

Priest: ...By whom?

Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.

Priest: ...Shit

What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?

They both are plastic and like kids.

How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.

There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.