New Allegation Jokes

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?

Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.

Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!

A Man: I must confess father Priest: what are you her to confess A Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son Priest: and what happened to your son A Man: He said a man raped him Priest: when and where did this happened A Man: a local church, idk which one Priest...by whom? A Man: A priest he said, he said the priest had black hair and blue eyes. kind of like you Priest: ...shit

What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!

What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

Kids play with both of them.

Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him. I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!

What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?

How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.

I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.

Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.