Agriculture jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
Beans
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?
In Orange County.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!