Agriculture jokes
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
Memes
Beans
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?
In Orange County.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What is the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked!
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"