Agriculture jokes
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
Why don't black lives matter anymore?
Because a harvester is more efficient at picking crops than slaves.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
What do cows listen to on headphones?
moo-sic.
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
What do you call a cow that eats grass?
A lawn mooer.