Agriculture jokes
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder!
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"
What is the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked!
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
What do cows listen to on headphones?
moo-sic.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
What do you call a cow that eats grass?
A lawn mooer.