We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
What do cows listen to on headphones?
moo-sic.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
What do you call a cow that eats grass?
A lawn mooer.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
