Agriculture jokes
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
Memes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples actually get picked.
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
A cow with no legs.
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!