Agriculture jokes
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
I am mis-steak.
The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.
What did the cow say to the pigs, "MOOOVE!"
Rabbit poop is cereal.
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a bull sleeping?
A bull-dozer.
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.