Agriculture jokes
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
What stresses a baby strawberry out?
When its mom is in a jam.
I watched a potato farmer get arrested the other day.
She kept yelling, "Do you know who I yam?"
What do you call a cow that eats grass?
A lawn mooer.
What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing? Dead mooves.
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef.
How does white people's backyard look like? Cotton field!
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.