Agriculture jokes
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Bean.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed? High steaks gambling.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody likes that joke.
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Why couldn’t the dairy farmer find his home? He lost the whey!😅
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
(Answer) Ground beef.
Sorry for a bad joke.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon!
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"