Agriculture jokes
What is the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Beans
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground meat.
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?
Ground Beef.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.
What’s the difference between an orphan and cotton? One gets picked.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.