Agriculture jokes
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
Beans
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he was a cow-herd!
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To visit the ugly witch's house.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
The chicken!