Agriculture jokes
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
Why couldn't the farmer tend to the crops?
Because he's got no arms.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
Beans
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
What do cows eat for breakfast?? Steer cereal.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
What do you call a two-legged cow? Lean beef.
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!