Agriculture jokes
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Tri-tip!
A cow in an earthquake is called a milkshake.
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
One gets picked.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏