Agriculture jokes
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe... Breathe..."
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
how to solve world hunger and over population?
Cannibalism.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
Beans