Agriculture jokes
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
Like if you blow male cows?
So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.
I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.
You guys are cow-medians!
So funny!
thanks for the information
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
What’s the difference between a cow and 9/11?
A cow can’t be milked for 21 years.
Normal Europe: Oh no, I lost my iPhone!
Amish: Oh no, I lost my potato!
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
What do pimps and farmers have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.