Agriculture jokes
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he was a cow-herd!
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
Beans
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?