Potatoes
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Sheep want to wool the world :)
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
