Agriculture Jokes

In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.

Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.

Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.

So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.

The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"

The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

What stresses a baby strawberry out?

When its mom is in a jam.

Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!

What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.

How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.

How does white people's backyard look like? Cotton field!

What's the definition of suspicious?...

A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀

I had a job at a banana factory. I got fired because I threw away the bent ones.

What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?

You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.

I have a rooster farm because I love small cocks.

What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?

One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.

What do you call a donkey and a potato?

Assround

What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Want to hear a maze joke?

Never mind, too corny.

Do they call it rapeseed oil because it is lube?

Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.

Holy cow!

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?

They both hang by something.