Aed jokes
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."