Aed jokes
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...
"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?
I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
"Gwen, this was a fake look in the comments!"
My step-dad works at a lumberjack company and he took me to work. I went climbing trees later that day and now I'm in the hospital.
What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?
You need to com-it.
If you're a girl, please comment.