Aed jokes

I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...

It was wrong on so many levels.

Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?

A: They exorcise.

Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.

What do you call a downie superhero?

Chromo-doner.

I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.

I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉

Your hairline is like a lollipop because every time someone licks it, it gets shorter.

You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.

Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

Why did orphans eat ice cream cones?

Because they can't eat a family pack.

What's the difference between an abortion and a baby girl in China? Nothing, they both die.

I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

How does she know I have that?

Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?

Because a SANSET is happening.

Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?

"What a re-leaf."

Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.

Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.

I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.

What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.