Aed jokes

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.

How to get rich:

Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.

Step 2: Knock out the orphan.

Step 3: Cut open the orphan.

Step 4: Well there [are] organs.

Step 5: Do it again.

And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.

So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"

A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.

Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?

Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.

Woahhhhhhh, we’re halfway theeeere! WOAHHHHHHH OHHHH, Squidward on a chaIIIir!

What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

BaBOOM!

My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?

My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...

Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.

*Everyone Looks at me*

What is a paedo's favourite time of year?

Halloween because they get free delivery.

Why do orphans have an iPhone 10?

Because it doesn't have a joke button.

Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.

Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?

A: A rocket chip.

I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

What do you call an orphan home alone?

A family reunion.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.