Aed jokes
What is a car that runs and can't?
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
What time is it when you cannot walk? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽.
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
A boy was following me for 8 years, even into the stall. I finally told him I’m not gay.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
Do people live on the Earth 🌏? Yes, a lot of people live on the Earth 🌎.
What is a nut that is in outer space?
A broken nut.
Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.
There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
What is a nut that says, "What is your favorite name?"
A magic nut.