Adoption jokes
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
What do you call an adopted orphan?
Wanted.
Why am I gay?
Because I like mushrooms.
Why are there adoption centers? Because it's a market for pedophiles.
Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?
He thought his son sucked!
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
Congratulations! 10 years+ record of hide and seek with your parents, and they're still hiding!
They hide so well, they probably forgot about you. Mwah. <3
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me, so they can get adopted.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
DeuJencjencsncsmxs8miwjxiwhfebfsunsqijdwud(wisebf
Wanna see a joke? Open the front-facing camera.
I saw you when I got chance at the adoption center!
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?