A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
Accident Jokes
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
My dad died in 9/11.
He was the best pilot I ever knew.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?
They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
