What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
Abuse Jokes
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?
A KinderGarden.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
So I punched an orphan...
What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
My wife is a whore, so I pimped her out and broke her mentally and emotionally, taught her a good lesson of being a real woman loyal to her man. End of story, you women are bitches.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
