Absence jokes
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
Oh... one comes back.
You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.
Your hairline goes so far back it left before your dad did.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he doesn't have parents.
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.
Why don't orphans go on trips at school?
Parent signature: _______________
Orphans eat their cereal with water because their dad never came back with the milk.
A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
Why can’t orphans go on school trips?
Parent's signature: _________
What do orphans call their parents? Unicorns, because they don't exist.
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
Why can't orphans have gay sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Hide and seek.
What do you name a family reunion of an orphan?
"Me time."