Absence jokes
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"
What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?
If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."
Where is my dad?
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
What do you call a family photo with an orphan?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Orphan who needs a parent!
My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
Dad: Son, I came back.
Son: Where is the milk?
Dad: Time for another 10 years.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
Pussy, no pussy.