Absence jokes
My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Orphan who needs a parent!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
Dad: Son, I came back.
Son: Where is the milk?
Dad: Time for another 10 years.
What do you call a family photo with an orphan?
A selfie.
You know, their family dinners must be so happy.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: (cries)
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
Hey, I haven't been on for like 2 months. I don't know who is still on here or like if everyone left, but yuh, I just decided to come back. Hey.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't have a home.
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
Pussy, no pussy.
My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.