Absence jokes
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A self-portrait.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
Why is an orphan like a boomerang? Because they always come back.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
What is the difference between you and an orphan?
Orphans have zero family.
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."
Where is my dad?
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
Why didn't the child go to school?
Because he died of a heroin overdose.
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.