Absence jokes
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Catch.
Your mum isn't home.
Why can't orphans go to field trips?
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POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.
The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."
What's up, bitches? Miss me?
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
Oh... one comes back.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
What did the no head man say?
"Haha!"
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
I got nothing.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy/mommy."
An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.