Absence jokes
I did a good job of being home from school.
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
The orphan wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
What's the difference between a boomerang and a Black father?
A boomerang comes back.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.