Absence jokes
I did a good job of being home from school.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Why did the orphan water his cereal instead of milk?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.