Absence jokes
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
I did a good job of being home from school.
Kid: Dad, what's an orphan?
Dad:
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
Why did the orphan water his cereal instead of milk?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.