Absence jokes
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
I did a good job of being home from school.
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
Why did the orphan water his cereal instead of milk?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."