Absence jokes
Why can’t orphans have milk?
Because their dad never came back.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
Family photo! :)
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
I did a good job of being home from school.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
Why did the orphan water his cereal instead of milk?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.