Able jokes
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?
Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘
Stop joking about suicide, it's not funny. You people must be so ignorant to be able to joke about such serious issues that you clearly are uneducated on.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.
How are mountains able to see?
They peak!
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?
symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?
angela: Because you are the thot of the group.
symple: Well it takes one to know one.
symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"
angela: FUCK OFF!