Able jokes

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

Why do tables never need wheelchairs?

Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.

Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?

Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.

Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.

Friend: You have to be able to stand up.

Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tear-able.

Have you heard the joke about the paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?

Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!

What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?

A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?

Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽

My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.

symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?

symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?

angela: Because you are the thot of the group.

symple: Well it takes one to know one.

symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"

angela: FUCK OFF!

Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?

Because they couldn’t call his parents!

More random keyboard words made into sentences:

This was a joke that was made by someone who had never been to the game before, but who was the first person to make it into a game of game with the intention of being able to play the first person who played it.

Do you want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'm here to assassinate John Tucker." The bartender replies, "He’s in the restroom." The hitman goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour.

The bartender asks him, "Did you kill him?" The hitman replies with a sad face, “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools, so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour, and when I asked him what’s taking him so long, he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started.”

Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?