Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
Why do Black people not like country music?
Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?
So she claims to be.
And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"