Shower thoughts

Registered on · 30 followers · Last active 6 days ago
Relationship

Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.

Virgin

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

German

I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.

History

Why are there more female history teachers than male?

Because women like to bring up the past.

Blowjob

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

Emo

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

Cancer

What’s the best part about stage four cancer?

There’s no stage five.

Emo

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?

Gun

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

Indian

How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?

Are you 7/11 or 9/11?

Boy Scout

When does a Cub become a Boy Scout? When he eats his first brownie.

Difference

What's the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is usually a feather; kinky is using the whole chicken.

Black

A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look, Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!”

The boy finds his father and says, “Look, Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”

Dwarf

What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law? A small medium at large.

Common

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

Woman

What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?

They both come with a toy.

Difference

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

Disney

What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

Disney

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."