You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
Shower thoughts
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair? It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
My girlfriend called me pedophile today.
Big word for a 12-year-old.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.
Who wins?
Society.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.