What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
Shower thoughts
Ever wondered my gay kids don't play basketball ? Becuz they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop
Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
why was kobe a good father? He took his daughter with him
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand? They don’t deserve rights!
What's kobe favorite song. It's going down for real
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot But he nailed that mountain
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
The judge asked me "How does 5 to 10 years sound?" I said "Sexy."
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path. Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbians bed? None, it's all tongue and groove.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
You drown it.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have it's perks.... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.