I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."
Shower thoughts
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber Created by the Japanese Who speaks English And looks like a Mexican Jumps like a black man And grabs coins like a Jew
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?
My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
What’s the difference between Mexicans and stoners?
Stoners have papers.
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
If we send more mosquitoes to Africa, we could save more mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?
Hitler knew when his career was over.
What is the darkest month?
Black History Month.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.