Shower thoughts

I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.

I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.

Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.

I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

What is the difference between Batman and Black Panther?

Batman returns.

What’s worse than finger banging your sister?

Finding your dad’s wedding ring.

What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?

Malaysia Flight 370.

What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

All countries will get Covid.

Except China, they got it right off the bat.

What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?

I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.

What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"I thought what we had was special!"

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

Life is like a bag of jellybeans.

Nobody likes the black ones.

What do you call a black person in a dark room? Invisible

Why do gay men hate periods?

They prefer Collins.

What do you call a Chinese assassin?

Chinese takeout.

What do you call a fart in a gay bar?

A mating call.