Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
scooter McFly
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral
The corpse
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes? Family comes first
Why is Santa always so jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live?
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".
Having homosexual parents must be terrible
Either you have double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in cycle of “go ask your mom”
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed
Sing raindrops keep falling on my head
How many Karen's does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness
In 2011 Stephen Hawking said there is no God, 2018 God said there is no Steve Hawking
Why is suicide illegal? Because it destroys government property.
How do you start a school shooting at a black school? Call the cops
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim
How do you know you’re ugly? If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
There is a lot of difference between a man and woman saying,
"I went through a whole box of Tissues watching that movie"
My brother is ugly one time he stuck his head out the window, the police arrested for mooning
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.