Worst Jokes Ever
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live.
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
I have a big cock.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.