Worst Jokes Ever
What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?
Boeing boeing boeing.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares their dogs too much!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.