Worst Jokes Ever
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.
What do tampons and your sister have in common?
ABBaS.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
I was going to tell you a joke about paper, but it was too TEAR-ABLE. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
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Why did Sally fall off of the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Sally.
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
Go fuck yourself!
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.