Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a zoo with no dogs? A shit zoo! 😂😂😂😂😂
I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
What is the difference between the snow ❄️ and sun 🌞? Snow is slippery, and the other kind 🧒 of weather is not slippery.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
I remember my grandfather's last words:
"Are you holding the ladder?"
I don’t love being bored.
Why do you joke about Helen Keller?
She was a good person, and she learned sign language and learned to talk. So why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!
What has 2 legs and walks? A human.
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand.
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand.
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand.
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
What time is it when you get home and you can't walk?
I did a walk today, but it was good for me and my car. And a walk today.
What time do dogs wake up? At school is the time dogs wake up.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"