Worst Jokes Ever

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"

What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.

What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?

Diabetes.

Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.

They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.

Milk is that the Uganda way?

I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.

To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He traveled too far from the outlet.

How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.

So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

You cut the rope.

It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.

Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.

Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱

What?

What picture is that?

How long is it?

Red hot 🥵