Worst Jokes Ever
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Ert.
Your mom gay, lol.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Cause it's a family company.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
Batman.
Life's too short to want it.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can’t orphans play baseball/softball?
They never get to home!
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
Big penis.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Woman can't drive.
What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?
The nun has a soul full of hope...
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Tennis because it's the only love they'll get.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the gay kid's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Well, a boy and a girl are in a bathtub together.
The little boy says, “Hey, you see that? I’m gonna go ask Daddy what it is.” When the little boy asks his dad, he says, “Well, son, that’s your car. You try to park it in a girl’s parking spot.”
As the boy runs back, he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama what her spot was and she said, “Well, that’s your parking spot. Never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back, the little boy tried to put the car in, well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.
Whenever the hungry cannibal performs amputations, he says,
"Thank you for your donation!"
For every orphan, a bag of chips is family size.
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD