Worst Jokes Ever
Dad: I'm dying.
Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].
Dad: Really, now is not the time.
Son: I'm sorry.
Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)
Best chick ever.
Call me at 6969696969.
Q: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere!
What do you call the type of photo an orphan takes?
A selfie.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause there is no home to run to.
I have the best life coach ever, because he taught me to not care. He did it so well that he died last week, and I still don’t care.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?
...
You do realize that I said nothing, right?
Me: Exactly :)
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
What do oranges sweat?
Orange juice. 😂🍊❤️
Why do all orphans get iPhone X's?
There isn't a home button.
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
Want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it’s too terrible.
What did I say to you? You suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, boiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
I love myself.