Worst Jokes Ever
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...
"I love you 😘" was the night you got a iiooooo.
There was a man who had just moved from a foreign country. He just moved into his apartment and was watching his favorite TV shows. The first one was "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me," the second one was "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives," and the last one was "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!"
There had been a murder in the area, and the man was walking in the park when a cop showed up and asked him, "Sir, have you seen this man?" and held up a photo. The man said "me-me-me, me-me-me, me-me-me-me-me-me-me." The cop said, "Sir, what did you use?" and the man said "forks and knives, forks and knives, all I use is forks and knives." After that, the cop said, "Sir, I'm going to have to arrest you," and the man said "BRING IT ON, FAT MAN!!" The screen goes black, and all you can here "chk-chk. BANG"
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
How are genders and twin towers alike? There used to be 2, but now it's a sensitive topic.
I can hear the whole world booing me.
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
Orphans are depressed, hahaha.
Teacher: What does a chicken give you?
Student: An egg!
Teacher: What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?
Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.
One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
How do you get 1 million followers:
{ RUN THROUGH AFRICA WITH A BOTTLE OF WATER }
What has four legs and an arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Cause comes near my Willy.