Worst Jokes Ever
What has a dog?
People.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
Have a good day tomorrow!
I would tell a clock joke, but I don't have time.
I like my women like I like my wine: 12 years old, in the basement, and locked up.
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Stop.
What time do you call me tomorrow?
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What is cats and dogs' favorite story and movie?
"Romeow and Drooliet!"
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
So I went to the doctor's and the doctor said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign."
So I said, "Aquarius."
And the doctor said, "Nah mate, you've got cancer."