Worst Jokes Ever

This joke is so dark, I need life.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

It’s because they can’t find home plate.

The F in orphan stands for family... oh wait.

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.

What is the smartest month?

April - No one can fool it.

Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?

Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.

Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?

Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.

Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.

My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.

And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"

I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.

Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."

The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."

Earlier that day...

Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.

Mission on space.

Mars: Moon? You okay?

Moon:...

Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!

*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*

Hey, wanna hear a racist joke?

Donald Trump.

Why was the asian late to class?

His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.

What movie do orphans hate most?

"Home Alone."

I will tell you a joke--your life.

Why don’t Belgians eat shit sandwiches?

They don’t fancy bread!

I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."

I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself.

What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?

You can't tuna fish.

Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."

Me: "You should be Batman."

Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...

What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?

They both hit me face down on the table.