Worst Jokes Ever
What starts with "E" and ends with "G"?
Everything.
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice cream!
"I love you with all my heart."
Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?
Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)
Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?
Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.
Who wants to laugh about life with me?
Is it just me, or are you the prettiest person I've seen today?
How did the cheetah greet other animals?
Cheetah: "Nice to eat you."
Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.
You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?
Why are all fat people bad drivers?
They are all hungover.