Worst Jokes Ever

China shouldn't play baseball because that would take out the whole world with one bat.

What do you call your mom?

Basement bound.

Guess what?

What?

Chicken butt!

Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.

Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?

Because "family is everything!"

Me: Hey, are your parents here?

Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!

I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

Orphan: I'm an orphan.

Technoblade: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.

A lot of the time he will take things for granite.

A lot of counter-offers were made.

What do you call a rich Chinese man?

Cha-ching!

Life is like a penis, women make it hard.

This name makes me want to close season instead of open it.

Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

See if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Have you heard of deez nuts?

My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.

Hahaha :)

Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.

I made this one up myself just now.

Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.