Worst Jokes Ever

I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

Dogs can't operate MRI machines.

But cat scan!

When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.

You are all fucking disgusting!

Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.

What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?

A mind-blowing bean burrito.

A bullet is like an arrow.

Nothing can stop it from going through your head.

A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"

Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.

Abortion is not murder; it's canceling a pre-order.

What's the difference between you and me?

I have a plan for this new year.

So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.

Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?

I just reached 10 million pounds in Euro Truck Simulator, but it's not even close to what Rakhmat Akilov achieved.

Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."

Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.

I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

No one goes in there without my permission!

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.