Worst Jokes Ever
Why was the number 10 afraid?
Because it was with 9 and 11, and it makes 911.
But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.
After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."
You sat on a chair with Uranus.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
"Another one bites the dust."
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
What's harder than titanium? Michael Jackson at the playground.
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 10 fingers, the middle ones are for you.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.
How did Hitler tie his shoes?
He tied them in little Nazis.
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.