Worst Jokes Ever
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.
From your mom.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
Knock, knock? Who's there? A mirror, I'm lonely.
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
You so gay you have a fat sis and?
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
Why is an orphan like a boomerang? Because they always come back.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
My bestie: Are you dirty-minded?
Me: Do I have dirt in my mind? No.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
Boss: You're fired.
Me: *pauses porn* Why?
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.